Are you wracked with anxiety about the future? Curious about functional programming? Do you feel existential terror at your own incipient senescence every time your hand trembles, your tongue slips, or your memory lapses momentarily?

That makes sense. I am sorry to hear it, though. I personally find moderate cardio and daily meditation pretty helpful.

That said, if evidence based salves aren’t your bag, you’re still in luck. Here’s an evidence free approach: Subscribe to Monaddle. As my grandpa always liked to say, It’s Not Literally Against the Laws of Physics That It Could Help.™